We Got a Puppy the Other Day…

The consensus is in: she’s the cutest.
That’s hard science, man.
Picked her up last week in Ohio, a beagle-poodle mix –
12 weeks old and 5 pounds of rambunctious, precocious scruff.

She’s been an adorable little pill:
gently crooning us to sleep each night,
kissing and high-fiving her own face in the hallway mirrors,
prancing and flouncing and shitting wherever she pleases…

She chews on quite literally everything her precious
puppy incisors can get hold of:
shoestrings, shoe soles, power cords, cloth bags,
dust bunnies, blankets, a pair of salt and pepper shakers,
sticks, straw, gravel, grass, hunks of mulch,
newspaper, tissue paper, assorted junk mail,
drawstrings, zippers, armchair tags, braided rugs,
the corners of the couch cushions, my pant leg,
socks, hoodies, children’s books, the coffee table…

It’s kind of remarkable really –
I think she might have some goat in her.

We bought her a chewable toy made for teething puppies.
She’s not remotely interested.
Evidently, it’s just not got enough flavor,
her other actual toys likewise.

Her favorite chew toys are most definitely leaves.
It’s mid-October, after all, and she’s quite eager
to smell and taste and chase after every last crunchy brown leaf
scattered over the grass outside our apartment building.

Instead of just peeing, of course.

I admire her mischievous sense of wonder:
The smellier and grimier the object,
the more inclined she is to have a little taste.
Yes, that includes her own poop.
Perhaps she feels that by gnawing on each and every thing she encounters
she can most thoroughly and efficiently absorb its essence.
Sound logic, no doubt.

Since we couldn’t agree on any one name in particular, we chose several:
“Eleanor Roosevelt Fig Pudding of Aquitaine ZimmerSelf, III”
or “Ella” for short – which, I suppose, also salutes Fitzgerald and Baker.
Naturally, we wanted to name her for some other mischievous dames.

You might say giving such a small animal such a large name
is like “tying a big tail on a small kite,”
but I say it suits her. She needs a big tail.
This world demands vigorous backyard adventurers,
crusaders after errant leaves.

Like I said: she the cutest.
Three days in, my wife and I are already hooked –
That’s hard science, man.

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